Neighborhood 6 – Hapgood Hooligantown
New Mascot Needs Date to Dance
Once news of the Hapgood Hooligantown’s new mascot got out, offers have come in fast. The first offer came from Neighborhood #7, The Cove, “Perhaps if Ms. Squirrel isn’t too much of a “hooligan”…she might just get an invitation from the elegant Cove Swan…” The Prestigious Hill Section quickly followed with a photo of their dapper Red Tail Hawk, Preston, and heading “Jaunty Raptor seeks fun-loving Rodent Mascot for Dancing and then, Dining (on), at the Jubilee!”
In response, the Hapgood Hooligantown spokesman said, “Wow, that tricky hawk does look dapper in a top hat. However, Miss Squirrel swooned when she saw the swan. Perhaps we will start a new ‘Dating Game’ with “Bachelor #1″ and “Bachelor #2.” For now, Miss Squirrel wants to keep her options open.”
The Cove complied but pointed out, “The swan is happy to have his photo shared but a bit indignant as there hardly appears to be a contest here…”
 Bachelor #2 - Preston from the Prestigious Hill Section  Bachelor #1 - The Swan from the Cove |
Hapgood Hooligantown mascot seeks date for Jubilee
Fighting Squirrels,
After a full month of auditioning literally hundreds of candidates, I’m pleased to introduce you to our new Hapgood Hooligantown mascot.
Isn’t she lovely? She’s all dolled up, but sadly, does not have a date to the not-to-be-missed “An Evening on the Boulevard Jubilee” dance at the Mountain Lakes Club on March 12. (BTW, TODAY is the last date to buy tix for $100. Tomorrow, they got up to $150 each.)
With a squirrel this pretty, it won’t be long before the mascots come-a-courting. Hopefully, our little princess will be smart enough to stay away from the predators around town, like The Fanny Pack’s Fox; The Hills Bear; and worst of all, the vicious Red Tailed Hawk.
Personally, I’d like to see her hook up with a nice mascot like the Five Lakes Bullfrog, the Midtown Oaks Chipmunk, or the Yorke Village Turkey. But you know how young mascots are. Sometimes they just can’t resist the “animals.”
Please send to me your suggestions as to what we should name our replacement for Squirrelly. (May he rest in peace. Curse you Hawks!) I’ll keep you posted on her suitors.
Please see below for more information on the Jubilee and other Centennial news.
Go Fighting Squirrels!
Brooke Fisher
Head Cheerleader
Hapgood Hooligantown
Hapgood Hooligantown Cries “Fowl Play” in Death of Mascot
By Rodentia Dominatus
One day after the Mountain Lakes Centennial Kickoff Celebration on Jan. 11, where the Red-Tailed Hawks took first prize in the Flag Design Contest, a hawk was spotted in the yard of a Hapgood Hoolingantown resident, eating Hooligantown’s mascot: The Mighty Fighting Squirrel.
Hapgood Hooligantown residents have filed a formal complaint, charging the Prestigious Hill Section with first-degree murder of a mascot, unsportsmanlike conduct, and excessive celebration.
Prestigious Hill Section's hawk devours Hapgood Hooligantown's mascot Squirrelly, the Mighty Fighting Squirrel
“The Prestigious Hill Section is right next to us — just up the hill,” said Brooke Fisher, Hapgood Hooligantown Head Cheerleader, and owner of the home where the alleged mascot murder took place. “Why would they send their hawk to attack our beloved mascot, Squirrelly? They are our neighbors. We thought they were our friends.”
About the incident, Jim Cinnamond, designer of the Hapgood Hooligantown flag, said “I can’t believe the Hill Section would commit such an atrocious act over a flag contest. By the way, where are the Prestigious Hill Section’s flags? Our flags are flying proudly throughout our neighborhood. What kind of “flag winners” are they, anyway?”
Prestigious Hill Section leadership could not be reached for comment.
Hapgood Hooligantown is currently holding auditions for their vacant squirrel-mascot position. “We’ve had a lot of interest in the position,” said Fisher, adding that interested Squirrels should feel free to audition in the yard of any Hapgood Hooligantown resident.
The next Centennial Neighborhood competition is slated for Feb. 6, at Mountain Lakes Day at Craftsman Farms. The neighborhood with the most residents to sign-in will claim victory. “We feel really good about our chances to win the Craftsman Farms competition,” said Fisher. “We doubt those fat-and-happy hawks will make much of a showing.”
Hapgood Hooligantown display for the Kick-off event
Mascot – Fighting Squirrels
Liaison – Brooke Fisher: brooke.fisher@yahoo.com
Themocracy
Hats off to the Hapgood Hooligan from your allies the Lake Arrowhead Trout. Should the report be true, fie on the Prestigious Hill’s Hawk. Foul we cry. But, in truth, we hope to make a showing and claim the Craftsman prize and bring it home to the residents of Arrowhead.
Perhaps if your “fighting” squirrel stayed away from those martinis it would have been alert enough to escape the PHS hawk.
PS: Audition all of the squirrels you want. They will meet the same fate as your mascot #1!
I recently overheard a conversation on the hill praising the hawk for ridding the town of disease carrying vermin….several neighborhoods have requested the services of our hawk to do the same in their neighborhoods. I am sure you will thank us when you realize how nice it is to sleep through the night instead of being woken up at by tipsy vermin pitter pattering across your roof!